Monday, November 06, 2006

An excerpt from my novel! See what I did here to stretch the word count. Clever, no? No!

Some of the sentences are so long they lose their meaning! Enjoy.

Liz was very suprised and she gasped from this surprise. Her cat (a brown, black, tan and white colored cat whose front claws had been removed two years ago) was sitting and grooming herself on an ottoman that matched her brown floral side chair, but at the sound of the loud gasp the cat, whose name was Snitty that week, because Liz knew the cat didn't care what her name was so she changed it every week, jumped and hissed and ran to hide under Liz's bed in her bedroom. There was a new post. And it was a reallly fucked up post, not like when Liz was high and posted every recipe for banana bread that she could find on the internet on her own blog, to which Anne had a link.

This was another kind of fucked-up altogether. Here is the post just as it appeared:

"Redrum redrum Redrum redrumRedrum redrumRedrum redrumRedrum redrumRedrum redrumRedrum redrumRedrum redrumRedrum redrum
Redrum redrumRedrum redrumRedrum redrumRedrum redrum rum redrum rum redrum rum redrum rum redrum rum redrum rum redrum rum redrum murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murder murdurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Ha ha just kidding."

Ordinarily this would just be a lame morning after the too-long night out at the bars kind of post, and might be followed by some song lyrics from Dashboard Confessional or even REM, but instead of that it was a picture of Anne's car with the windshield smashed. The post had just been put up three minutes before Liz opened the page according to the timestamp at the bottom which said 7:46 pm and it was 7:49 pm at the time Liz was reading it, so you see what I mean? It could have been the wrong time but it was really weird that it was so close to the time it actually was. As if it wasn't freaky enough already. She couldn't believe what she was seeing. Something impelled her to reload the page, thinking this couldn't be right. This was a poor choice because when the page reloaded, the new post was gone. When she saw the post, two weeks old, about popcorn getting stuck in Anne's teeth every time she went to the movies, Liz cried. She knew she should call the police officer who had given her his card, she should call him right away. He was cute. The fact that she thought about how cute the cop was, and with in minutes of seeing that awful picture of Anne car, made Liz cry even harder. She cried for a good half hour. Then with swollen eyes and snotty nose, and still sobbing intermittently, Liz got her shit together enough to call Pete the cop. It seemed to her that either Anne had gone crazy and was hiding somewhere posting on her blog or the psycho killer who took her had her laptop, and somehow, her password to her Blogger account, but somebody Knew Something, and Liz hoped the something would change and it would be better than the not knowing, which she had been doing for so long now and didn't seem to be going too well.